Scrubbing the Bathroom (Part II)

I am always amazed by my kids’ eagerness to clean at my side, but as much fun as it is for them, I find myself getting frustrated with their added distraction from the task at hand! They are not just content to wipe the counter for me as I spray down the shower…oh no, they insist on being hip-to-hip, underfoot, and often leaving a drippy trail behind me! I get so focused on productivity that any distraction becomes a source of frustration …even if it is my darling daughter demanding my attention “Mom, you have to see this..! Mom, look! Mom, what’s that? Need more soap, Mom!! Mom, mom, mom….!” Well, reading this now, my heart melts at the beauty of her innocence, taking delight in her spirit…but in the moment, this is not my response!

Sometimes, I get too caught up in the minute details surrounding me, and the ugly circumstances I’m desperate to overcome, they are all I see. A multi-tasker I am not. And in my hyper-focused attempts at triumph, I deny myself the most beautiful gifts in my journey…companionship, help, relief, and joy. Life is intended as much more then mastery of calendars, budgets, and time…yet so often we find ourselves in these places of mere survival… And again I find myself needing a reminder that my kids aren’t there to produce a clean bathroom, but are my joy in the act of cleaning the bathroom.

A maid service would have been the efficient choice towards attaining a clean bathroom (and most assuredly mine!), but God’s seasons are not without reason. A maid could not have given me what my kids did in that moment. God sends people into our lives to act as his ambassadors, so instead of looking for him in the dust and grime between the grout lines, I need to stop and relax for a moment, and enjoy God for who he is in the people surrounding me.

As I relentlessly attempt to redeem myself, how many times will I deny the greater joy of living in God’s path? Who else has God sent into my life that I have thoughtlessly shrugged simply because they were “too distracting”? Who is purposefully placed in my path in this moment, that I choose not to acknowledge? And more importantly, what holds my focus, and is preventing me from seeing him?

I know I have been here before, and may find myself here again, but with the right attitude the power to change becomes more accessible with each visit...and without God's grace, impossible.

Scrubbing the Bathroom (Part I)

As I was scrubbing down my bathroom this afternoon, a few thoughts came to mind: First, I do not clean my bathroom nearly as often as I ought to! Secondly, I love that my kids want to help me, but why must they insist on being right there beside me, asking me for more soap after every swipe? Thirdly, how absolutely disgusting, and how did that get there?! …I certainly didn’t do it! And finally, how come I didn’t see that before -- Ewe?!

I had an epiphany. What an incredible metaphor for our lives.

This is a journey, and as we learn who we are, and meant to be, we discover new things…some good, some not-so.

Every time I entered the bathroom I would cringe at the thought of what might be lurking in the corners, waiting for me. The dust, the streaky mirror, and the bathtub ring were all a shameful reminder of the less then perfect state of my bathroom -- just as my temper, jealousy, and laziness display to my friends, my family, and myself the state of my heart.

…Never mind the stuff that can’t be seen.

And although I wait eagerly for it to magically disappear, I am told that without a little elbow grease and a good cleaner it’s not going away. Boo-urns. I can put it off for so long, but eventually the job becomes too big for a measly sponge and orange scented all-purpose spray…and it’s not long until I’m trying every concoction under the sink, the smell of bleach lingering in my nostrils for the duration of the week. Exhausted and annoyed that I had let it get to that point.

But instead of waiting for the magical scum fairies, getting disappointed at their neglect, why not change the tune of my prayer? I can spend a lot of time asking God to take away my temper, fill me up, show me the right path, and give me joy--but in order to sparkle, we must first scrub away the filth. So I roll up my sleeves, get on my knees, and reach for my cleanser….

“God, it is my desire to serve. To walk in your will. Show me, where am I dusty? What is hiding under the faucet…and dare I ask; the toilet? What can’t I see that is potentially harmful? Show me what is needed to make this tidy bathroom spotless, because the next time I enter, I do not want to be burdened by it. Sterilize all surfaces, so that I will sparkle from all angles! I release them to you…”

(to be continued...)

Quiet Time

Well, it's shortly after 1am, my family is sleeping, and although I could barely make it through the day earlier without my little catnap, here I perch, chewing up precious sleep hours to try and squeeze in a quiet moment, to access my outlet. Yet I cannot, my mind overwhelmed with pent up frustrations, unable to express them. Exhausted, fighting the urge to let sleep prevail...

I open my daily devotional, and here is what is written for the day of December 10:

"There may be many times when I reveal nothing, command nothing, give no guidance. But your path is clear, and your task, to grow daily more and more into the knowledge of Me. That this quiet time with Me will enable you to do.

I may ask you to sit silent before Me, and I may speak no word that you could write. All the same that waiting with Me will bring comfort and Peace. Only friends who understand and love each other can wait silent in each other's presence.

And it may be that I shall prove our friendship by asking you to wait in silence while I rest with you, assured of your Love and understanding. So wait, so love, so joy." God Calling, A.J.Russell, Editor

Beautiful words, speaking directly to the frustrations of my soul. Another blaring nudge as to exactly what I need to get out of this slump. As ridiculous as it may sound, I weep with joy over these gentle words, the sincerity of God knocking me over the head with them.... He cares; He misses me, and he has been trying to tell me in so many ways, yet I deny Him my heart yet again, and again. He. Misses. Me. Words I have been longing to hear for months, yet words I still struggle to accept.

I may be a sleep-deprived wreck tomorrow, but there is coffee and grace for that. I miss my friend, and wish not to keep him waiting much longer....