In the Raw

Laying in bed, my heart rips open. Alone, in a house filled with people. Who love. I remember the days when every moment felt like this..and I send a little prayer up for you. My heart hurts, knowing my perspective is far less shattered then most. Then yours. Why me? Why have I been sheltered from a painful life? I ask myself this often..and yet, I carry the burdens of a heart deeply wounded--so broken and void of love--always left to wonder... Why do I hurt where I have not endured pain..? I was loved, and I am, and forever I will be. Yet everyday a FIGHT to understand what this means, this love. A gathering of a loss. A loss unknown.... My heart is broken. For me. For you. For this world so misunderstanding of love. True love. Gods perfect love, mutated by sin into beastly monsters... They. Are not love. These monsters we receive, destroy our hearts making it impossible for us to know true love.. Oh God, kill these monsters! Breathe life. We want to LIVE. To love. To love to live.