5.4.14

Into The Clouds

The storm rolls in, and with it, the walls of my world press in.  Blinded by the flurries, I panic. To get stuck and be isolated--these are what drive me to hold tight, white-knuckled, ignoring the voice of logic in it's mad plea to cease. I flip on the hazards, as though I believe my distress will excuse my ignorance, I proceed. I grow tense. I go faster, blindly entering  territories I am not qualified to navigate, I am out of control. I am thrown off the road in a skid, completely turned around. Buried. Deep....  Alone. 


Perspective. Seeing your world, THE world through a different window..the window of a God elevated above the situation..watching, knowing, moving. 


The perspective from above, flying high beneath the wings of an eagle...this perspective? Changes everything. Beautiful. Majestic. Peace-filled and calm. Everything in its place--the rivers the mountains--trees square around quaint communities.


These communities, surely bustling, many worlds feeling shaken, perhaps alone and invisible. But I see them. I am watching them as I wonder. Who lives there, and what is their story? Do they feel lost, as I? 


Though their roads feel rocky, I see....  Everything in it's place just so. And dozens of boxes in view of one tiny window....  So when we feel alone? 

Just know, that we are not.



6.2.14

In the Raw

Laying in bed, my heart rips open. Alone, in a house filled with people. Who love. I remember the days when every moment felt like this..and I send a little prayer up for you. My heart hurts, knowing my perspective is far less shattered then most. Then yours. Why me? Why have I been sheltered from a painful life? I ask myself this often..and yet, I carry the burdens of a heart deeply wounded--so broken and void of love--always left to wonder... Why do I hurt where I have not endured pain..? I was loved, and I am, and forever I will be. Yet everyday a FIGHT to understand what this means, this love. A gathering of a loss. A loss unknown.... My heart is broken. For me. For you. For this world so misunderstanding of love. True love. Gods perfect love, mutated by sin into beastly monsters... They. Are not love. These monsters we receive, destroy our hearts making it impossible for us to know true love.. Oh God, kill these monsters! Breathe life. We want to LIVE. To love. To love to live.